When you take your baby out with you, it turns out you're a lot like moses parting the red sea. People open doors for you, pick up stuff you drop, give you spare change, and even smile at you (i haven't figured out if it's just straight 100 % sympathy yet but i'm sure it's close) Let me use as a prime example, a trip to the post office. If you ever needed to see a more glaring, splattered on the wall case study in the worst in human behavior on all sides, the united states post office is a great place to begin. As your tires touch the hallowed ground of the dumb face, old ladies in lexus suvs are suddenly showing incredible driving prowess as they cut you off for the closest non handicap spot. Then, people race walk you to the door to be first in line to send out something useless that you didn't want anyway. It's so undignified looking. You stand in line shifting your weight back and forth ready to hit the guy in front of you in the back of the head with a shovel because he was the one that cut you off in the parking lot and out racewalked you to the door.
That's really the cute/ clever stuff i've observed that maybe you didn't think of. The rest of it is common knowledge-why bother to even begin to rail against the employees of the united states postal service-what could i possibly say that hasn't been said about these- the most uncaring,
unfeeling, blank faced automatons in the history of the service industry? The same braintrust that took the clocks off the wall to fool you into thinking it wasn't taking forever (this actually happened this year) doesn't need another word wasted on the fact that it might be the earthly portal to the gates of hell.
So i take hbomb in to the post office to mail off my tax return-i'm pretty terrified -it could be hours waiting in line-hbomb hates waiting more than dad does so, you know-ticking hbomb -
then something mystical happens- a grandpa cracks a joke in line saying he'll give me a million dollars for him -a totally rad brodude in an ed hardy hoody lets me cut in front of him (he's probably totally hangin' and doesn't want hbomb to erupt and i understand this-)-2 other people in line are all fine with me going ahead as well- but it's after my hands across america ascent up the line that it gets so very impactful. I set him down in his carseat on the counter and the lady working says 'oh child, it's hard isn't it? but he's beautiful and you're doing a good job' I stared at her more open mouthed and mouth breathing than anyone i had ever seen working there before. I don't understand why it takes being strapped to a ticking hbomb to make human decency happen, i'd never had anything against these people until i had been repeatedly treated like furniture (quote jbaby)by them. Here i was though, having the best day of my life inside the post office-all thanks to hb -thanks buddy! i can't wait to use him for speeding tickets and getting off sinking cruise ships.....(hbomb pic again lbates)
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