Tuesday, February 16, 2010

best picture

every housewife/exhausted new mother loves to throw a big oscar party and i'm no exception-i'm going a little butch this year with a very dry white wine and no spritzers but i still think it will be a fabulous evening -the expanded 10 picture category is intriguing and since i've seen all of them (a feat that is quite impressive with hbomb who is now SIX MONTHS) i thought i would weigh in on my likes and dislikes to get you ready for the big event-

1.precious-haven't seen this one yet

2. blind side-i've always thought the beastie boys, eric clapton, and sandra bullock all made their deals with the same demon and am looking forward to the Lord's promised, eventual overcoming of this evil spirit.

3.hurt locker -just saw this one-yes jeremy renner is great but the movie is severely flawed -the ending is a give up and the cameos are absolutely pointless to blatantly distracting -ralph fiennes shows up just to get shot, david morse to wear a mustache and look intense and the hot girl from lost makes an appearance to chop vegetables and cry -plus, can we please get some distance from the iraq war before we start dramatizing it?-GEEZE

4.an education- i have no idea what this is

5. up- what can i say about this movie that hasn't already been said? - you know the drill -the first 10 minutes are the most heartbreaking of all time of any movie ever made -animated or not- and then after that it's a great kids movie that i loved as well -if this wins i would be happy but weirded out that it did

6.inglorious basterds- man trailers can be so misleading - i think this and 'up in the air' are perfect examples of the ol bait and switch -i truly thought this was going to be you know, madcap black comedy, but it's an intense, bloody, thoroughly engaging drama and in my opinion should win best picture -the dialogue alone -Quentin Tarantino is the master -he seems to be the only director that cares about his actors needing to actually SAY SOMETHING -the revenge fantasy part is a little off putting to me but still the movie is original, powerful, lasting. IB won the screen actors guild which is supposed to be the precursor but they'll never let QT have it -he's the mark cuban of hollywood -as a side note -please see jackie brown if you haven't-so underrated and nobody ever knows what i'm talking about when i bring it up-

7. district 9-do you remember when you were young and had zero cares and your spirt was uncrushed and you sat in a theatre and were just totally lost in the film and forgot you were sitting in a chair and then it was over and you were like ' OH WOW'? yes that was a terrible run on sentence but that's how this movie made me feel -i really believed in movies again after watching this one-i am so thankful i saw this in the theatre-the social commentary is biting but not heavy handed and the sci fi aspect is never ridiculous but feels authentic-like human beings have desperately been seeking alien life since the dawn of time and it arrives so we put it in a ghetto because it's not what we had envisioned -Sharlto Copely is one of those actors you watch and wonder why in the hell haven't you seen more of him and less of say, well, other well known south african action/ sci fi heroes -

8. a serious man- haven't seen this one either

9. up in the air - really the marketing for this one is particular - it's pretty hilarious -
i do feel for people who think they're getting a light hearted little george clooney farce because you really do get blindsided by the heaviness of this one- it's a good movie but not great -not great at all -in fact if you want great see michael clayton -clooney should have won for that and if they give him best actor for this well then it's his 'departed' -you know how they gave scorsese the oscar for the departed just because they failed to give it to him for goodfellas?-in fact they should have a special oscar called a scorsese just for these moments- jeff bridges will get his scorsese this year i think -(totally robbed for fisher king)

10. avatard- sigh-i hated this movie - i hated it when i walked out of it and i hate it even more as i try and remember the 8 other great films it rapes and pillages. I wouldn't have such contempt for it if james cameron didn't so arrogantly think you should buy into his bullshit with all your heart and soul-i'm so glad i caught him accepting his golden globe because it helped me pinpoint why i hated it avatard so much- as he was accepting the award in klingon, i realized how much i don't like HIM and you know, a movie (if done correctly) is just an extension of the directors personality- all the characters are cartoons even when not -the tree hugging heroine is named 'grace' -good god -the military peeps all run around and scream 'GITCHA SOME' -the aliens are being exploited by an evil corporation -SOUND FAMILIAR, RIPLEY? also sigourney weaver constantly smoking in her space lab in this day and age is the stupidest looking prop of the year-so i came up with a new word for you -
camerooned-this unfortunate phenomenon occurs when one has his own head stuck so far up his own ass that there is no possible chance of returning it to the surface-

there you have it - oscar night is as important as christmas or the superbowl to women like me so i hope you'll take my thoughts to heart and have a great party!